Leon Guatemala: July 22, 2010

went surfing today. Down a volcano. It was pretty cool. I was on a wooden board sliding down the black ash slope of an active volcano, when all of a sudden the volcano exploded! I was racing down at 80 or 90 miles an hour trying to outrun the lava avalanche. The eruption had awoken an ancient dragon as well and it was flying down chasing after our tour group. The girl in front of me fell and so as I raced past her I swept her up into my arms. She told me she was a princess from a line of ancient Mayan kings and queens and that her presence had awoken the volcano and that the dragon was chasing after her to kill her and take back the golden Chalice of Eternal Life she carried on a string around her neck. She showed it to me and it looked like a cheap knock off you get on the streets, I didn't say that of course, it'd be rude to insult her chalice and there were more pressing issues at hand anyway. So with the princess in my right arm and holding the chalice in my left, we raced down the mountain on a wooden plank when all of sudden a group of banditos sprang up from the bushes and started shooting at us and demanding our ATM cards and cameras! I was like "WTF?!" Luckily I had just bought a gun from a kid at the volcano park entrance for $USD 3.50 so I was able to defend myself. I only had 8 bullets and there were ten banditos, but I killed 4 of them with one bullet so I had three shots left over for the angry dragon that was still chasing us. We were still traveling at tremendous speeds down the slope of the volcano and the lava was still coming, but I was able to put a bullet right in the lower left chest of the dragon where I saw it had a weakspot from a missing scale. I killed the dragon and had two bullets leftover so I shot a couple of victory shots into the air.

we came to a slow stop at the bottom and she was about to passionately kiss me when, ironically, those two victory shots I fired into the air came back down and killed the princess, and broke the Chalice of Eternal Life in my hand. That's a bummer, but it was a cool experience and it makes a good story, i guess. I'll post pics of all this later.