hahahaha

Indian movie posters are so ridiculous. I couldn't stop giggling when I saw this one:



Look at the guy! How can anyone look at him and not burst out laughing? How could that possibly be considered cool? How could his pudgy face, sleazy mustache, hairy chest and 80's gold-chain kitsch be cool?! I don't know, I don't care, it's funny and I'm laughing at him.

Dakshinkali

I went to a shrine outside of katmandu today that is a sacrificial pit for the worship of Kali.

it was a one and a half hour bus ride to the town, a short walk down the valley and then to the shrine itself.

The offering session started off with a ringing of the bells as the head priest lit candles and incense and did his prayers at teh shrine. then all the worshippers were let into the shrine to give offerings (things like coconut, rice, flower garlands, incense, etc...). Some of them had chickens and one guy had a goat to be sacrificed at the altar.



The priests who do the sacrificing are pretty effecient and quick at it. And the process itself, from my viewpoint, was pretty quick and painless and undramatic. chickens are cut on the neck and bled out.

I didn't get a good look at the goat's death but it was really quick, and it included a two stroke decapitation. None of the animals made any noise.





I don't know why I wanted to see this. I guess I have a morbid curiosity. I wasn't too impressed by it.

The theory behind these blood sacrifices is that the humans are actually doing good because the animals are being killed in a holy way which will propel them into a positive rebirth in the next life. In my opinion, killing is still killing. religions are weird.

gahar-e-kebab

last night I went to a fancy hotel restaurant for dinner. It was by far the nicest place I've had dinner at during my travels. It's the kind of place where the servers pull your chair out & in for you, there was live traditional indian music, candles, 500 rupees for a chicken curry, 175 Rs for a naan, warmed dining hall, dark wood furniture (laminated table tops though), gold and silver dishware, etc...

Random thoughts on the experience:

-Indian food isn't really meant for silverware dining, if you think about it, it's all finger food. Indian food is traditionally eaten with the hands. I felt really stupid trying to maintain my appearance of dignity as I was using my hands to sop up curry with naan bread.

- the bored staff kind of ruined the service ambiance. Especially the snooty, really bored looking, chatty, token cute waitress. Bitch was in the open-kitchen, right in front of the dining room, warming her hands over the tandoori oven! What is her job here?! I hate her.

- while i've had food as good or better at much less pretentious and expensive places, the food and the five star experience is well worth the USD$17 i paid. In fact, I feel kind of absurdly guilty for the value that i got.

- heated plates

- single Indian guy nursing a whiskey-looking drink to my left

- the rich, classy, mannered, civilized Indians.

Kathmandu day 2

I am pretty tired of traveling to third world countries just for the sake of traveling to third world countries. you've seen and been in one shit hole, you've seen and been in them all. like i mentioned before, I think I'll just focus my travels on fun activities and food from now on. mostly the food. I'm really tired of forts and pretty buildings and stuff like that. I'm just tired. I realized during my shower this morning that it was the first proper hot shower I've had since Varanasi, India. It's almost been a month. and it's probably been more than a month since I've had a proper night's sleep.

Kathmandu

I’m in kathmandu now. This city is a bit of a dump. The outskirts of the city are extremely poor, all concrete bunker houses. I don’t know what it is about Third World countries but they are all full of half finished buildings. Every building in the city and in the countryside seems to be half completed with rebar sticking out of exposed concrete pillars and unfinished brick walls.

But, Nepal is a lot cleaner and nicer than India. The people are nicer, they don’t spit like Indians, the streets are (relatively) cleaner, the traffic isn’t as bad, etc…




I went to a famous stupa right outside kathmandu, Swayambhu Stupa. It was an interesting 30 minute walk through the streets of the city to the hilltop site. The complex has over 3000 prayer wheels supposedly and is a very sacred site. Tourists call it the “monkey temple” because of all the monkeys around it.

Apocalypto

I watched Apocalypto at one of those tourist restaurants that show movies at night to draw in diners and drinkers. I think the movie should have been called "Running Through Forests for Two Hours", or maybe "A Series of Fortunate Coincidences in Favor of the Protagonist". What an awful movie.

I was supposed to go to Kathmandu yesterday, but I got stuck in Pokhara because of a bus driver strike. I heard a lot about these infamous Nepali transportation strikes (called 'bandh'), I didn't think I'd get caught in one.

But I'm here now and kathmandu city is a dump.

Here I am

There I am

No updates

No updates for 4-12 days, cuz I'm going trekking. I may be back after one day if it's boring and too hard, or I may get caught in an avalanche and never come back.

Fear and Loathing

Fear and loathing in Nepal. Oh, how I fear the things I hate and hate the things I fear. another painful 7 hours local bus ride from lumbini to pokhara nepal. I truly loathe and hate riding local buses.

In pokhara now. Pokhara is one of those tourist towns I've grown to dislike. When I stepped out of the taxi in front of my hotel I was greeted by the sounds of aJason Miraz cover song from a nearby bar. then as i went to bed, i was sung to sleep by the sounds of tom petty, red hot chili peppers and rage against the machine covers.

Have you ever seen a hipster backpacker? I have. Tight black jeans, pumped up kicks and all.

I took a not-cold shower today. first shower in I don't know how long. the air temperature was in the 50's.

The Kathmandu Post

pics from the January 8, 2012 edition of The Kathmandu Post. proof that it's a small world.

I was pleasantly surprised to see Pearls Before Swine (really?! of all comics...) and Dilbert as two of the three comics in the paper. Garfield I was a little disappointed to see, it's barely a step above Family Circus. BUT, as i read this particular day's garfield, I was delighted by it's very subtle and slightly dark stab at the human condition.

I think this isn't a jim davison garfield comic. You can't really tell from the picture but I highly suspect the text in the caption bubbles were changed, it's not the usual Garfield/Jim Davison font. and the joke is just too subtle for Davison. Or maybe he made a wry joke by accident. I don't know. Plus the fact that the only other two comics in the paper are dark and irreverent ones, leads me to hopefully believe this is an altered garfield comic.

Nepal

Bucket List Item #17b: Go on pilgrimage to the sites where the Buddha was born, attained enlightenment, gave his first sermon and died. check.

Bucket List Item #33: Learn Yoga. scratch that. for you yoga fans out

there: contrarian F.U.D. article

If, as Meatloaf would say, life is just a highway and the soul is just a car, then I need sign posts like these:

There's more than enough signs telling us how fast we are allowed to go, telling us where we can and cannot park, and there are signs with arrows directing us to places millions of others have already gone. I need my life to be literally filled with these kinds of spiritual sign posts. That would be pretty awesome...and make more sense.

India: Conclusion

I hate love hate love hate love India.
I could leave it at that, that probably communicates how I feel about India. But I want to elaborate a little more
The cliche dichotomy of "you either hate india, or you love it" was true for me in the beginning of my trip. I went back and forth between loving and hating this place during the first 2-3 weeks. But how do I feel about this place now? I really don’t know. Hate and love are very strong words. I think this illustration best communicates how I feel about India:
If Ron Paul were to become President of The United States and he decided to nuke this dirty, smelly, crowded, shit-filled country off the face of the Earth, I wouldn’t lose any sleep over it. But on the other hand, if someone gave me a plane ticket, I would come back with zero hesitation.

Happy

HAPPY

Patna day 2

Speaking to a backpacker girl at the train station. we talked about our trips. She said she was doing India for 4 weeks, she asked me how long I was traveling for. I said 2-3 months between india, nepal, and SE Asia, I looked at her huge overstuffed backpack, I saw her looking at my relatively light backapck, then our eyes met and I knew I won that dick measuring contest.

riding the earth

This is the toilet in my current hotel room. About as bad as I've personally had to use in India. I had dark premonitions about that stick in the corner when I first saw it. And when I found out the toilet doesn't really flush my fears were realized. BUT, it turns out a big bucket of water in the bowl does the job just fine, stick not necessary.

But to put my toilet in context, here is a local indian fellow cleaning a street sewer.

Patna

Wherever I go, there I am.

It's been a long couple of days. Lots of traveling and one night stays in far out places. I've noticed it takes about 3-4 weeks of traveling to find my rhythm. I found it now and things are rolling along. Despite the fact here in Patna, I had difficulty finding a hotel room because they are all filled up for the Dalai Lama's KalaChakra a couple of hours away in Bodhgaya. I ended up in this (see pic) dingy little place down a dirty alleyway, paying an exorbitant 600 Rupees a night. It's been rough the past couple days because I've been forced to stay in dirty places like this. I was actually prepared to spend the night in a hotel lobby couch/floor or sleep on the streets, it took me so long to find a hotel room.

This is a developing world bus station. My instincts (also known as logic and common sense and powers of observation) for traveling in these countries have gotten pretty damn good.

Recap: Varanasi: insanest fucking city ever.

Varanasi is intense. I've been in India for a month now but I was still shocked and disoriented by the traffic, the crowds and the narrow shit filled twisting alleyways. When you think of "India", this city is what you probably imagine.

walking the streets (here and in all of india) is like playing the old arcade game Frogger and a game of chicken. I always have this song and music video in my head when i walk around: bittersweet symphony. The lyrics are very appropriate too, for India, or maybe life in general. But the things is, as chaotic as the traffic is, there is order in the chaos and it works.

My new objective for traveling now is food. Because if you've seen one dirty 3rd world alleyway, you've seen them all. You've seen one ancient fort, you've seen them all. you've seen one temple/monastery/castle/etc... you've seen them all.

It rained in my last day in varanasi. I promised myself I will never ever visit india during the monsoons. The narrow twisted alleyway...good god. I was walking in dust-turned-silty-mud full of shit and piss. Cow shit, goat shit, dog shit, cat shit, human shit...every kind of shit imaginable i was wading through. jesus.

Happy New Year

Dear readers,

Plea's do not read this following post. This is free associative rambling that isn't really meant for public consumption.

10:35am

Maybe the answer is there is no right question

10:45am

maybe the answer is on page XXX of Veronika Decides to Die...No, never mind.

10:52am

Found it! The question I've been looking for is on page XXX of Veronika Decides to Die! Perfectly worded and exactly the question I've been looking for!

I have found my question and my answer. The answer is that there is no right question to ask. LOL. How absurd. Apparently, kites had nothing to do with it.

2:00pm

singing and dancing in the rain, I realized maybe the answer isn't "there is no right question", maybe the answer is "don't ask questions". Questions like "what the hell did I just step in?" or "what is that smell?" Either I've watched Fight Club too many times, or Fight Club got it right with rule #1 of Project Mayhem: You do not ask questions.

This is what happens when you read Paulo Coehlo novels while traveling in exotic lands.

I have been unable to sleep well in Varanasi, I suspect my pillow is actually a sandbag. But I did find madness. And I found questions and answers that make no sense, but still bring closure.

Dear reader, if you've read this and come this far against my wishes you might as well have a picture of a granite vagina:

(this is where i quip: I'd like to mine that quarry)