If you are reading this, it means I really did die doing that bungee jump. I can posthumously say I regret doing it. I also have many regrets in my life, many of them pertain to the friends and family who read this blog. I have closure-bringing things to say to all of you, but I am taking them with me to the grave.
Give all my possesions to the two people I love most in the world, Tegan and Sara. Just kidding. I don't care what you do with my stuff because I'm fucking dead.
I wish for my remains to be cremated, then I want the ashes to be flushed down the nearest toilet. Seriously.
Don't look in the brown bag in the bottom drawer of the desk in my bedroom. Seriously, don't.
Tell my mom what she wants to hear. Tell Ray, my property manager, I'll see him in hell. Tell George W. Bush I called him a fucking cunt with my dying breath (because there is a 50% chance I actually did).
Tell her I love her.
Please smack Justin Bieber in the head for stealing the title of Most Watched Video on Youtube from Lady Gaga.
I want a big party thrown in my honor, I want everyone to get super wasted and have a good time. I want people to eat, drink, dance, do drugs, vomit, get arrested, suffer moderately serious injuries, and commit hilarious felonies and misdemeanors with Seth Rogan. Don't drink and drive. Unless it's inconvenient to walk or take a taxi, in which case, go ahead and drink and drive.
If you are reading this, it means I really did die doing that bungee jump. Or, it just means I forgot to delete this automatic post before the post-date . But either way, don't look in the brown bag in the bottom drawer of the desk in my bedroom. Seriously.
Until we meet again on Dec 13, 2012,
Give all my possesions to the two people I love most in the world, Tegan and Sara. Just kidding. I don't care what you do with my stuff because I'm fucking dead.
I wish for my remains to be cremated, then I want the ashes to be flushed down the nearest toilet. Seriously.
Don't look in the brown bag in the bottom drawer of the desk in my bedroom. Seriously, don't.
Tell my mom what she wants to hear. Tell Ray, my property manager, I'll see him in hell. Tell George W. Bush I called him a fucking cunt with my dying breath (because there is a 50% chance I actually did).
Tell her I love her.
Please smack Justin Bieber in the head for stealing the title of Most Watched Video on Youtube from Lady Gaga.
I want a big party thrown in my honor, I want everyone to get super wasted and have a good time. I want people to eat, drink, dance, do drugs, vomit, get arrested, suffer moderately serious injuries, and commit hilarious felonies and misdemeanors with Seth Rogan. Don't drink and drive. Unless it's inconvenient to walk or take a taxi, in which case, go ahead and drink and drive.
If you are reading this, it means I really did die doing that bungee jump. Or, it just means I forgot to delete this automatic post before the post-date . But either way, don't look in the brown bag in the bottom drawer of the desk in my bedroom. Seriously.
Until we meet again on Dec 13, 2012,
No comments:
Post a Comment