I've seen a lot of pretentious art in my time.  In fact, I consider myself a connosieur of pretentious art.  So it was to great delight and disgust that I stumbled upon this: The most pretentious, crap, ridiculous, meaningless, immature, incoherent, amateur, insulting, ugliest piece of shit shit I've ever seen:

The end of the world

I read somewhere on the internet that if people knew the world was truly going to end,everyone would be running around confessing their love to their secret crushes.  I imagine that would be a pointless task because their object of desire would be too busy having end-of-world sex with his/her significant other to have time to listen to the confession.

But what would I do at the end of the world? I'd probably be too worried about doing the "perfect" last act.  I'd probably get too distracted by deciding if i want to do something crazy, funny, defiant, or serious and just end up missing Armageddon all together.  Procrastination and laziness to the very end; true to who I am, to the end.

I feel an uncomfortable amount of pressure to write an appropriately fitting post for the tomorrow.

If I close my eyes, and imagine really hard that the world ends tomorrow...all I can think about is the deep fryer incident.  I will go to my grave haunted by the deep fryer incident. 

Last month of the year

It's true.  When I'm not traveling, i have nothing to say and my life has no meaning.

Me drinking coffee and having a smoke. A moment in El Salvador.

Beans and cigarettes.  The only two food groups available to me on that particular costa rican mountainside.

no wait, there was coffee as well.  So...beans, cheap cigarettes and coffee. 

Those two weeks were the best of my life. 

I was stuck in traffic in town on my way home from work at 6:30 on a friday night.  It was then I realized if my life was a cell phone, my battery charge would have two bars left.

If I woke up in the morning of a busy Saturday and found that I had two bars left on my phone, I wouldn't be too worried.  Two bars would get me through the day and I would feel confident enough to go about my business and and work through my to-do list.

In real life, two bars of battery remaining would mean I am aware of the decrease in my useful life expectancy, yet have not reached a point where I am worried.  As of this point, I still have enough time to do all the things I have planned and take care of any other unexpected issues that might arise during the day. "day" being life.

Patriots 49 : Jets 19

For my thanksgiving dinner: one energy bar and half a yam.

It was delicious.

It seems like everyone around is me having babies. At the same time, everyone around me seems to be dying.  Cancer, babies, suicides, babies, old age, babies.  Babies on purpose, Babies on accident.  Death by accident, death by intention.  Umbilical cords, nooses. C-sections, malignant tumor removal.

"Would you like baby or death?"
"Death, please."

High School Reunion

I went to my 10 year high school reunion last night.  it was very enjoyable.  i am glad i went. I'm glad i was convinced to go.  I'm glad that many of my classmates are doing well for themselves. I am sad that some of them are stuck in jobs too small for their spirit.  I am a little disappointed that my old high school crush didn't show up...It was nice to see these people, pure and true.  the three hours we were there went by too quickly. 

I have a suspicion that many of them still keep in touch, through face book if nothing else, and that the novelty of the whole night was exciting only for people without facebook, such as myself.

and thank god for alcohol.  liquid confidence. fun in a bottle.

ooh! and for the first time in my life, somebody called me a social butterfly.  I am a social butterfly.  Can I put that on my resume?   
"i am charming and a vicacious people-oriented personality.  I thrive in situations that allow me to interact with clients, co-workers and superiors.  I am energized by new situations and networking opportunities.  I will be a benefit to the company, as it is a sales-driven operation that profits from person-to-person business model paradigms. My greatest weakness is that i probably love people too much and have too much energy and personality, friends call me a social butterfly. 

viva las vegas

Just came back from my Las Vegas trip.  And like all my trips, I learned something profound about myself.  There was a lesson to be distilled.  The lesson I learned, the fact I have accepted, is I am a boring old man. 

My partner and I stood with our signs and waved at the early morning traffic driving by.   It was the big day. Election day.  Our organization decided to stake out an intersection next to an all-girls catholic high school.  I noticed most of the cars were filled with teenage girls being dropped off at school.  I figured, what's the point of waving to them if they aren't even old enough to vote?  So, I stopped waving (it's not like they were paying me to do this).  I noticed my partner was still waving, very enthusiastically in fact, at all the cars pulling into the school.  I told him to stop waving at those cars, that it was pointless. He shrugged his shoulders at me and kept waving.  I told him, "those girl area all too young to vote".  He said, "that's not why I'm waving."  Without thinking, I said,  "then why are you waving at them?" He turned around and leered at me.

quite possibly, the saddest thing I ever saw: a man carrying a twin size bed mattress out the door of a RAC Rent-a-Center. 

It doesn't surprise me that it exists; it makes me warm and fuzzy inside, there are videos of people eating potato chips that can be found on the internet.

New Girl

Damn Zooey and her big round eyes.  I hate Zooey Deschanel cuz she's so good at that thing she does.  I hate Zooey's character on the hit TV show New Girl for being so unrealistically dorky yet charmingly loveable for it.  And I hate myself for being such a sucker for that cliche old gimmick.

New Girl

I never understood the appeal of Zooey Deschanel, until about last night.  New Girl. It's the kind of TV show you regret watching as soon as the credits roll; the premise, lines, characters, story, jokes are ridiculous, but at the same time, it's all amusing.  And Miss Deschanel is well cast in the role of Jess, as much as i hate to say it.

update: new drinking game:
1. watch New Girl
2. Take a shot every time Zooey's left eyelid takes longer than her right eyelid to blink, close, open, or contribute to a facial expression.  

high school reunion

It's been ten years (already)?
It's been ten  years (only)?

I was recently notified of my high school ten year reunion.  The only reason I found out about it was a chance encounter at the drug store with an old class mate (I really need to get on facebook). For the past ten years I always planned on not going.  I couldn't even say I "planned" on not going, going wasn't even an option.  But, being the person that I occasionally am, i decided to go on a whim.  Better to regret the things you did instead of the things you didn't do, right?

All I need to do now before the reunion next month is lose weight, become rich, and get a hot girlfriend.

Got whacked by my surfboard.  I was coming up to the surface in the white wash and my board was still being tossed around by the water, and just as i came up , the board whacked me right in the head.    I'm wondering if I should give up this hobby.  it's pretty dangerous.  I mean, that cut on my head isn't that bad, but it could have been the skegs that got me, or it could have gotten me right in the nose or eyes.  It hit me hard enough to split my skin.  I wouldn't be surprised if my skull is cracked and I didn't know it and I'm slowly hemorrhaging to death.


In other news, I saw some old friends of mine.  We went to a high school football game. It's nice to see old friends.  However, it wasn't so nice to see my old high school football team lose in the first round of the playoffs. 

Here is a picture of fennel seeds:

fennel seeds are a staple flavoring agent for baked goods such as cookies, bread and cakes.  Fennel is particularly good with pork dishes fish and stronger game dishes like wild boar.  Use fennel seeds to flavor fish, cheese, vegetables and pastries.  Or do like the Indians and serve with crystallized sugar as an after-meal breath freshener.

It's 2am now, there's a meteor shower tonight.

I may be hypochondriac, or I may have nose and throat cancer.  I'm not sure.  I'm leaning towards the interpretation of incurable disease.

I've had the same Bob Marley song stuck in my head for weeks now because somebody at work decided to post lyrics on the bulletin board as an inspirational quote. 

global warming, climate change...i ain't ever seen southerly winds last this long in hawaii.  ever.  2012, if we are lucky, will sort our lives out for us.  

has old age finally found me?  Last week the waiter at a restaurant merely asked me my age when i ordered a glass of house red wine, he didn't bother to check my ID.  Today, the check out clerk at the supermarket didn't ask me for my ID when I bought a six pack.  Both times I had my ID in my hand, ready to prove my age...

So it goes.  My grandmother, who is very sharp for her age,yet kind of senile, continues to base our conversations around repeatedly asserting I am too skinny and need to eat more.  Our "conversations" could last for as long as 10 or 15 minutes, and based completely around variations and repetitions of her telling me i need to eat more and that I am too skinny.

a haiku

the road beckons

but now is not the time

he reckoned

too much thinking
too little drinking

Visit from Nana

"hi grandma! i'm home!"

"is that you boy?"
"yeah it's me grandma"
"eh?  Is that you?!"

"yeah it's--grandma, put your clothes on. please."
""what did you say?!  I can't hear you?!
"I said 'put on your clothes'"
"what?!"
"put on your clothes!"
"My clothes?! what, why?  You never seen boobies before?  you scared of my boobies boy?"
"(sigh)"
"don't roll your eyes at me, boy.  come,I need you to move this heavy couch around for no particular reason"
"(sigh)"

CAUTION!

Demure girls with an adventurous streak. 

DANGER!

This has been an interesting week. Life seems to have finally caught up to me.

Update: Yes, this is probably the most interesting week of my entire life.  

DNC: Bill Clinton

Bill Clinton just tore apart the GOP's butt hole.  Absolutely tore it part.  Ouch.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uzDhk3BHi6Q

A fetter is born...

Our household just acquired for free a beautiful, solid oak and glass, antique display cabinet.

I hate it.

I don't care how many thousands of dollars it may be worth or how beautiful it looks,  When I saw it, taking up all that space, so big, so clunky, so...immovable and heavy, so unmatching, i felt like another chain was attached to our lives.  That thing is never leaving our house, and most likely, it will never move from the spot where it sits right now.  Give me cheap, lightweight, disposable, non-sentimental particle board furniture from Ikea; I don't want these....fetters. Because that's what our new cabinet is,  a great big pain in the ass that won't easily fit into our lives nor easily leave our lives .  We are stuck with this fucking thing, and I resent that fact.

Home Repair

Popcorn Textured Drywall Ceiling:

Before: 

 During:

 

After!

 First, Obama body surfing at sandy's.  Now, Obama on reddit.  I will follow this man to hell and back.  How could I not?

Look at that form!

What is more terrifying than NOT getting what you want?

Getting what you want.

I set my alarm clock for about an hour before my train is suppose to arrive at the destination station. I set it for one hour because I don't want to my miss my stop, obviously, but also because it is useful to track the station stops to figure out just how far along and on-time the train is.  This is in India, of course. 

Most the stations don't have announcements so you can never tell which station you are pulling into.  Many of the stations are less popular, small town destinations so the train stops for literally one minute before it moves on.  So, a lot of times I had to either point and gesticulate and pronounce my destination with a questioning tone to whomever was around me to figure out which stop I was at. Or, I'd stick my head out the door/window and try to find an English sign telling me which town I'm in.  It's how I can figure out how many more stops there are before my station. 

Arriving at my station, I'll climb down from my upper bunk, unchain my bag and wipe off the dust of an eight hour train ride.  With my messenger bag on one shoulder and the bulky backpack on the other, I'll walk off the train and onto the station.  Smell the air.  Feel the cold.  Pat my day bag to make sure my camera, glasses, journal and guidebook are still with me.  check my boardshort pockets for my passport and ATM cards.

I can't imagine how my face looks at times like this. Grinning lips and worried eyes.  Thousand yard stare with an excited smile I can't hide.

I always go to the nearest bench and put my bag down for second to check my guidebook for a last minute orientation on where to find food and shelter.  I also take this time to mentally prepare to deal with the rickshaw drivers and touts who are waiting for me outside the gates.

When it's time to go, I'll squat in front of my backpack on the bench, loop my arms into the straps and jump up to settle the 40 pounds of stuff onto my shoulders.  I'll straighten out my winter coat, secure the waist support belt, adjust the straps for comfort, then throw the messenger bag over my head so it rests against my stomach.  Then I go.


The thing I miss most about India is the Mughlai Chicken.

Did I just spend two hours on the internet watching cats jump off things? 

I sure did. 

I have been thinking.

I understand why someone would break my car window and steal my wallet and cell phone.  I was not, am not, bothered by that at all.  I understand the fact there are criminals in the world and I understand why someone would want my wallet full of money and credit cards.  And I understand why they might want to take my phone, crappy as it was.  What I don't get is why they would take my favorite sweater that happened to be in the backseat.   I was totally calm and pragmatic and accepting about being a victim of theft until I realized they stole my sweater too.  Why?  Why would they take my favorite hoodie that I've had for 8 years?  I loved that thing.  I've seen and done so much in that sweater.  Its kept me warm through countless Hawaii winter days.  Why?!  Why did they have to take my one and only sweater?!?!?! Eight  years I've had that sweater.

update: oh my god, they took my lucky red hat too...

Me, toasting bread over a propane stove in Costa Rica.

I just got an ad for OSHA in my gmail account!!!

Pet Peeve #73: People who hold their forks and spoons like a shovel and stuff food into their mouths.  It's so uncouth. 

Pet Peeve #1:  People who don't answer their door when I knock or ring the doorbell.  

Irony #5:  Unfriendly people with really nice entrance ways.  Why bother making the front of your home look warm and inviting when you're a son of a bitch?

Slaves with aloha shirt collars.

OBAMACARE FTW!!!!

So, I was driving to work at the ungodly hour of 8am and listening to NPR in the car when I catch the middle of a breaking news story about the Supreme Courts decision on Obamacare. All I hear at first is something about the Court deciding that congress didn't have the right to mandate insurance via the Commerce Clause.  I was unbuckling my seatbelt and stepping down on the accelerator looking for the nearest concrete structure to drive my car into when the radio goes on to say that the law was upheld based on the authority of congress to impose taxes.  What a bizarre way for the supreme court to legislate from the bench...but whatever, i'm happy.

 Here is a picture of me drinking and driving in what appears to be a snowstorm.  The wine was a 2008 Martin & Louis Cab. I do not recall taking this picture. 

"On a white, sandy beach, of Hawaii"

India

Here is the kind of thing one will encounter in India:

'tis a sacred cow, wandering around a train station, shitting wherever it pleases.

 Other times, one will encounter colorful moments while sipping chai on a fortress rooftop: 

What do you do when you're feeling sad?

If I'm feeling down, I drive to the 24 hour Kinko's and photocopy something. 

Pizza salad

I made a pizza salad today.  For those who don't know, a pizza salad is the dish you end up with when your pizza dough sticks completely to the pan during baking and you end up scraping all the toppings and whatever dough is salvageable into a bowl and eating straight with a fork.

Since I learned that someone I know is going to India I've been thinking about the country and I find myself romanticizing the time I spent there.  I say romanticize because the truth of the matter is, traveling is hard work, especially in a country like India

It's funny how I can look back on the times crammed into a smelly, dirty, cold passenger train full of rude peasants with nostalgia.  While conveniently forgetting about all the sleepless nights and cramped bus seats and dirty beds and cold showers and confusion I dealt with along the way.  Except I haven't really forgotten those difficulties.  I just remember them with more fondness than I actually felt at the time.

I'm not sure what the word is, but there's a term for this tendency to look back on difficult times with undue positive perspective.  It's done all the time with war.  War and soldiers have always been romanticized, people need to be more skeptical about anything that portrays war as a noble and worthwhile endeavor.  Maybe we wouldn't be spending 700 billion dollars a year on defense if war was looked upon with more suspicion.

Anyway, someone I know (not a family member) has cancer and it makes me sad.  People die.  That is life.  parents, friends, aunts, uncles, grandparents.  everyone poops, and everyone dies.  I like to believe I am more aware of death than most people; so what does it mean that I still find it so jarring to encounter death, in life?  Does this mean the lessons of death are lost upon me?

And the injustice of our health care system has never seemed more perverted and evil than it does to me right now. So, right now, I am wondering what my life will look like in the end.  If I make it to the point where I die from age related diseases and system failures, who will take care of me and how am I going to pay for it?

This was an official India Immigration office, I shit you not.  This was at one of the Nepali-Indian border crossings.

Anyway, I have a ton of advice I'm going to share with that girl who is going to India.  I'm so excited for her, and a little jealous...take me with youuuuuuuuu!  

I laid in bed for about an hour after my alarm.  I was idly picking through my thoughts and feelings, listening to the rat in the ceiling scurry around.  My 60 year old mother limped into my room and asked me to carry some heavy things for her. As I carried the boxes to her car it started to rain.   The drizzle plus the steady East winds made me shiver because I was only wearing shorts.  I checked my to-do list for the day and made one phone call; the rest of the items can wait until later in the day.  For the moment, I want to procrastinate and cogitate.

I want to believe in happy endings.  I really do. 

Tomorrow, everything will be better. I promise. 

Those token attractive girls at dinner parties or other large gatherings of friends and family who look bored or are uninterested in talking or socializing, who often sit with their arms crossed, with a haughty look on their face, who dress and act in such a way as to imply they have a high opinion of their attractiveness and are stuck up, yet lack any discernible personality...I wonder now if these girls are just actually really shy and I was guilty of fundamental attribution error. 

Aloo Gobi

I made the traditional India dish "Aloo Gobi", potatoes cauliflower. It turned out surprisingly tasty.  It was very satisfying seeing those raw ingredient turn into aauthentic-looking Indian food right in my own kitchen.  I had doubts about my ability to make such ethnic food.

Protip: Turmeric stains everything yellow.

I kind of want to go back to India now.  Somebody slap some sense into me.

Good news!  The brothers/hosts of Car Talk are retiring.  God, I hated that show; their stupid snorting laugh, their unfunny jokes, the way they laugh at their own unfunny jokes, their increasingly outdated and irrelevant advice in this age of computerized, proprietized, high tech motor vehicle repair.  

Art and Flea

Somewhere in the downtown area...

i stumbled upon a hipster congregation.

Four dollar PBR's, T-shirts with cute pictures and feather earrings.

Add caption

Morissey

hilltop. ghoulish clouds. white lights. city lights. tradewinds. unlit cigarette. Morrisey. a red shirt. ennui.

Morissey's voice exudes melancholy.  But Morissey himself? A man of humor of the dark type.  I've never heard the word "happy" pronounced with such pitch-perfect scorn. 

I'd like to have a couple of beers with the guy. I think we'd get along just fine.

set list highlights:
How Soon is Now
Shoplifters of the World Unite
Last night I dreamt that somebody loved me (LNIDTSLM)
Please please please let me get what i want (PPPLMGWIW)


After he sang PPPLMGWIW and LNIDTSLM, I realized it was appropriate that I ended up alone at a Morrisey concert.  It wouldn't have made sense any other way.

I forgot to bring my camera to the concert. So, imagine the opposite of this picture, because this is the exact opposite of a Morrissey concert.

Season Finale of Castle

OMG!  It finally happened!  They kissed!  OMG!  They even held hands!  I can't believe it!  Years of sexual tension and it finally happened!  squeeee!  oh man this feels good...

I am such a sucker for this kind of thing. 

It feels good to finally get rewarded for years of loyalty to a otherwise lame, uninspiring, formulaic, unoriginal, cliche, cop show drama.

Plus, it's nice to see Mal finally hook up with the woman he actually wants to be with.  BBF! (Bring Back Firefly!)  But this probably means the show is going to wrap up soon.

The Road.  I think my next backpacking trip is going to be a road trip across the US. Who What When Where Why and How TBD.

raaaaaaaaage

Fuck Dave. And fuck Buster.  Boycott them. don't give them money.  don't play their games; i mean that literally and figuratively because yes they have video games you can play but i really mean don't get sucked into their mind-games and lies and fraud and misrepresentation.  Argh, this place is worse than that hostel in Saigon!   Don't trust their waitresses who say "you can cash out the card" and then later play dumb and say "Oh, by 'cash out' I thought you meant redeem your remaining points for prizes" (which I wasn't allowed to do either!).  
And what kind of bar charges tax on drinks? The people at Dave and Buster's are terrible human beings and should be ashamed of themselves and the life they've chosen.  If you think about it, selling drugs or sex on a street corner is more honest than what dave and busters does.  at least with the dealer/prostitute you know upfront what you're getting into.
 

Why this ad?

There was an ad in my gmail acccount:

"U by Kotex® at Sam's Club - www5.samsclub.com - Bigger Pack, Better Value. Get A Free U by Kotex® Sample Online Now!"

I have never been as disturbed by a targeted online ad as I have been by this one, so I clicked on the google link "Why this ad?" for an explanation. Google says "This ad is based on emails from your mailbox. Visit Google’s Ads Preferences Manager to learn more, block specific advertisers, or opt out of personalized ads."

I've been analyzing my emails to figure out what keyword or combination of words could have possibly triggered this ad placement. I can't figure it out and I am very perplexed.

I thought this was all a dumb mistake and bad algorithm writing, but then I realized (too late) that those clever bastards at Kotex actually got me to Google their product and visit their website. If page hits and click-throughs are how they measure success then they definitely succeeded with me. But if actual sales and revenue is what they want, well...better luck next time Kotex. (I admit that I was a little impressed by the fancy site and the sharp new packaging).


Update: I don't take this kind of thing lightly. Targeted media advertising is a sin in my eyes. The invasion of privacy and the collection of personal data on individuals is a very slippery slope into a surveillance authoritarian society. It's the salami effect, they take little slices until the whole thing is gone. They take a little bit of your rights away at a time or they get you to surrender to little invasions of privacy. The cumulative effect of this won't be noticed until it's too late. It's already happening; look at SOPA, CISPA, the UK's unbelievably Orwellian surveillance society, Carnivore, etc...

I made this addendum because I just got a gmail ad for Coconut Oil. This terrifies me because my mother has been talking about the health benefits of coconut oil recently (is this a new trend?). However, I am positive there are no clues to her discussion about it in any of my online information. HOW DID THEY KNOW?!

Shredded roast chicken with gremolata, salad, brown rice and mashed cauliflower.

It was a long strange trip.

Imagine, if you can, a topless vietnamese sailor singing the Beatle's Yellow Submarine while his mates accompany him with out of tune drums and a scratchy guitar on a boat full of tourists taking part in a scuba diving tour in the middle of hong an bay in Vietnam.




now stop imagining it and actually live it:

Sleep? No, thank you, I'm allergic.

I just had to tuck my mom in to bed cuz she was high on ambien and stumbling around the house. LOL. I don't blame her, I know exactly where those little pink pills will take you.

I've been home for a few weeks now but I think I'm still jetlagged. Some nights I'll sleep 3 or 4 hours, other nights I'll pass out for 13 hours. I tried using various combinations of sleep deprivation, coffee and sleeping pills to crowbar my melatonin secretions into a semblance of regularity, but all those tactics probably did more harm than good.

I don't know what it is about me and sleep. I've always had a one way relationship with sleep, i.e. I wanted it, it didn't want me.

Unhealthy patterns are the problem. My life has no rhythm. Working nights at the restaurants means I come home late and therefore go to bed late. And not having any obligations most mornings means I have no reason to sleep early or rise early, or even at a regular time. Add up the random late weekend nights, an on-off caffeine addiction, an occasional alcohol habit, a 7-month stint as a hotel night auditor, a couple of round the world time zone trips and I suddenly realize I haven't slept well for the past 28 years.

I sometimes wonder if all the problems in my life stem from this lack of sleep. Isn't it fair to assume that if one slept better, one would feel better? More energetic and optimistic about life? There aren't many things in life where I say to myself (and actually believe) "if only I had _______, I would be happy", but I suspect sleep is one of the necessary's for a fulfilled life.

"Would you like some sleep, sir?" the college student in the tuxedo politely asked.
"No thank you, I'm allergic." I replied. He looked at me blankly before giving me a polite smile and quietly moving onto the next guest.
My dinner companion sitting to my left turned to me and exclaimed, "you're allergic to sleep? how can anyone be allergic to sleep?"
"It's true. I can't have sleep."
"what happens if you sleep?" he asked.
"I get constipated."
"have you tried chewing Valerian root?" he offered. I had to give this gentleman credit, he stuck with me despite my off-putting, but sincere, answers to his questions.
"I've tried it, only to find out I'm also allergic to Valerian root".
I watched my dinner companion sip his champagne as he weighed his options. Then, with a heavy sigh, he managed a "and what happens when you chew Valerian root?"
"I fall asleep".

oh, and the internet. Can't forget to mention that. why would I want to sleep when I can internet?

embers

"That is our human fate," said his mother. She was sitting at her mirror, staring at her fading beauty. "One day we lose the person we love. Anyone who is unable to sustain that loss fails as a human being and does not deserve our sympathy."

- page 41, "Embers" by Sandor Marai


This is the kind of book I like to read.

"same-same, but different"

After all I've seen and done on my trip, I'm not ungrateful for what I have. So, I can't say I hate my life...but...I don't know. Lets just say I have a powerful urge to drink right now.

wow. I went to work tonight. The feelings of anger, impatience, frustration and depression returned like thunder. It took months of intense traveling and spiritual self-examination to develop the zen peace of mind i brought home; it took the restaurant 10 minutes to destroy it. wow.

New York Traffic

They say traffic in new york is really bad. lots of honking and reckless driving in willful ignorance of the rules of law.

They say there are many immigrants in new york, from the middle east, India, Asia, etc ...

They say many cab drivers are immigrants who can't even speak english.

Therefore, is the traffic in new york bad because 3rd world driving norms have been imported via immigrant cab drivers?

And the winner is....

bar of soap!

Postscript: postscript

It feels like I never left. I am sitting here typing and watching Tegan & Sara videos; I'm pretty sure this was exactly what I was doing the day before I left... Four months ago.

I noticed my blog has a whiny tone to it. Like a diary, it has become a medium for me to vent my negative energy.

it's 5:13am in the morning now. I think I'll go get coffee, have my last cigarette and watch the sunrise.

Postscript: Taipei

While searching for a plane ticket on kayak, I found the best itinerary in the world. It was 700 dollars for a one way ticket home with a 16 hour layover in Taipei. I decided to take advantage of that long layover and squeeze in one more country/city into my trip.

During my researching phase, I learned that Taipei Intl. Airport has a program for long-layover passnegers. There are two half-day day-trips into the city and country you can sign up for at the airport and the amazing thing is that it's totally free. Every airport should do something like this. But in the end I decided to strike out on my own because I didn't like the itinerary of the tour I would have had to take.

Armed with google map printouts, advice from wikitravel, and my resurgent mandarin chinese I arrived in Taipei at 10pm and checked into my hostel at midnight. This was one of the coolest looking, nicest hostel/guesthouses I've seen. I think this could be a Protip: In big, international cities, stay in guesthouses/hostels because they are great value and really pleasant places to stay (whether or not your on a budget). There was nobody at the reception since I was checking in at 12am and checking out at 6am. The front door was password protected but there was a hotel phone out front and I called the posted number for the english speaking extension; nobody answered. I remembered I was bilingual so I called the chinese number and the guy told me the passcodes. Since no one would be working during my six hours stay there, I was supposed to use the honor system and put my money in the little red box next to the kitchen fridge.

I wandered around the deserted, empty downtown streets for an hour before going to bed at 1am. Is there anything in the world better than strolling down a deserted empty city street late at night?

For some reason, I thought Taiwan would be as hot as Vietnam. It was not. It was not as hot.

woke up around 6am (didn't sleep well because of early departing backpackers) and started to do my self-guided tour. I eschewed all the typical tourist sites. You know how I feel about tourist traps. I decided to check out the University. I thought The Taiwan Univeristy campus would be a pleasant walk with cool looking buildings. It was okay but it was not like UW or UCLA. Protip: large university campuses are cool places to see and maybe even do things as a tourist. But it was still an interesting walk. The buildings are utilitarian and it was so early in the morning that there were no students around. In fact, there were more white haired senior citizens doing Tai Chi around the campus than there were students. The main library was closed! 7am on a Monday morning and the main library was closed.

Then I headed to YongKang Street, famed for it's eateries. Again, it was still too early in the morning and most of the restaurants were still closed. So I went Taipei 101 (here). It was a rather cloudy, windy and cold day; my day in Taipei. I didn't get to see anything from the 400 meter up observatory. That's not true; I saw a lot of clouds.

Then I went back to YongKang St. and ate at a place famous for their Steamed Juicy Pork Buns. They were good. Their other dim sum items weren't that great. There was the daily crowd of tourists at the front of the restaurant lining up to get in when I left.

Then I ate some more food at other shops along YongKang St. Then I had to leave for the airport. I almost didn't make it back in time because of transportation. I arrived at the gate with 30 minutes to spare.

Then I flew for 7 hours and caught up on movies. I swear, 90% of the movies I've seen in the past 3 years have been in-flight entertainment system movies.

Then I arrived home; felt my usual disgust at the Honolulu Airport's facilities, services and staff.

It reminded me of an article I read about how difficult it is for tourists to come to America. They want to spend money in our country and do some cultural exchange but the government seems to throw all these barriers and hurdles in their way. The article stated that travelers are more afraid of the TSA and border agents than of terrorists or accidents; they are afraid of saying or doing the wrong thing while going through immigration. I realized I felt the same way. What does it say about our country when people are more afraid of the government than terrorists?

Taipei was a cool city. I liked it. I realized if I was going to live in a big city, it would definitely be in a nice, international, modern Asian big city. I don't know what is about nice, international, modern Asian big cities, but they do things right.

27 and 358/365th

I have climbed mountains, I have crossed deserts. I watched countless bodies burn on funeral pyres and I performed CPR on a dead man. It all has to mean something, right?

skewers

I’m going to miss meals like this in restaurants in ex-pat/rich tourist areas of big cities in poor countries. This was 10 dollars, tax and tip included, mediteranean sausages, with coffee, delicious. AND, they had this song playing.

Taiwan!

Heres a picture of angkor wat in cambodia.

I have grown quite attached to some of these material objects that have traveled around the world with me. I've traveled eight and a half lengths of string around the world and these things have been with me the whole time (since central america): my shorts, my board shorts, my belt, my backpack of course, my messenger bag, my travel alarm clock and my trusty faithful Prada toiletry bag.

Sad :(

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oN86d0CdgHQ

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4rSBgfXoIPo

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RsTNxVtS4c8

Three Pics

This is why you don't eat street food. A woman cleaning and gutting raw chicken in the city river.


That tank of greenish liquid in the over sized syringe looking thing is motor bike gas. These little stands are found all along the road because the bikes can only hold a few liters of fuel at a time.


More pseudo-inspirational quotes. From the surf shop, whose owner survived the war with tales to tell. So after listening to her stories it's not really pseudo-inspirational, it's just inspirational (inb4 James).

Things to do when I get home:

go to walmart, bask in its beautiful flourescent capitalist glow

eat a hamburger

drink a cup of coffee

make a kite

go to pali lookout

fly a kite (at number 5???)

get drunk on red wine and watch Lost in Translation

go to Honolulu Zoo

get Right.

[antonym of disaster]!

success? Whatever the word is, I got to surf. I met a cool italian surfer dude who showed me a secret surf shop with proper boards and the best burgers in town (the awesome local woman who owns the shop was awesome). I went out to the beach break in front of the shop and caught one good head high wave. The conditions weren't that great, the winds were still mucking things up and I was out of shape and hungover but it was fun, I was surfing in Vietnam.

Disaster!

Disaster! The wave here has potential but the on-shore winds are blowing hard again. I hope, but kind of doubt, the wind will be calm in the morning. Not only that but the surfboards/bodyboards availabe here for rent are a joke. Two of the three boards don't even have fins or leashes and they're full of cracks and dings. The other surfboard is better, but not by much. One of the bodyboards is completely devoid of laminate and leash. The other bodyboard has holes and grooves in it for skegs and the "leash" is scrap string and velcro. And no fins of course.

I arrived safely after a sleepless 12 hour overnight sleeper bus ride to Da Nang. I found Hoa's Place, the cult-status surfer/backpacker guest house at Non Nuoc beach. The vibe is here is nice, very much a boardshorts and no shirts on the beachfront type of thing.

Macro Vacations

I call these backpacking trips, "macro vacations". It's not just a break from your job, it's a vacation from your way of life.

I'm headed to 6 feet, 10 second swell in Da Nang. Wish me luck.

Vietnam

uncommon valor

Cu Chi Tunnels

went to the popular Cu Chi Tunnels exhibit right outside of Saigon. It's an exhibit of the tunnels the Viet Cong lived in and fought from during the war. It was pretty interesting. I got to crawl through the tunnels and see all the different booby traps the VC used to deter GI's. I shot an AK-47. It was fun.

And it shows why an imperialist invading force can never defeat and win against a dedicated homegrown guerilla insurgency that has the support of the local population.

I had to pay 15 dollars to fire 10 rounds with the AK-47. I thought it was a bit expensive. The bullets looked pretty old and possibly war remnants. Then I started laughing at the thought that the Vietnamese were selling Americans their own war bullets back to them.

I realized that only rich westerners with too much time on their hands would pay money to crawl through a dirt tunnel.