Onwards to India

I just booked my flight to India. I'm pretty sure this is going to happen this time. I haven't been feeling very excited about this backpacking trip until now. I guess it never felt "real" to me, like I was never sure it was going to happen. But since I booked my ticket and started gathering my supplies, I am beginning to feel The Excitement. It's not only excitement I feel. It's a chaotic blend of emotions.

I am feeling:

Fear: Because I'm going to India, man!
Excitement: Because I'm going to India, man!
Hope: Maybe I'll find the meaning of life?
Pessimism: What's the point? why waste money? I need to find a job.
Optimistic: I know it's going to be an experience, one way or another
Confidence: I did central america, i should be able to do India/Nepal.
Nothing: sometimes I just feel bored.
Doubt: Do i really need to do this? What is my objective?
ennui: What is the point of doing anything?
Panic: vaccines, medicines, language, visas, so many things to do.
Dread: diarrhea, language, sickness, tiredness, diarrhea, injury, death, squat toilets, diarrhea, 15 hour train rides.
Alive!: Fuck objectives and reasons! I'm going to india, man!

conclusion: I'm a moody bastard.

Expensive Repair: 0
Me: 1

Between this and the liquor commission thing, I feel justifiable.

Every dish I cook with Russet potatoes end up as a variation of mashed potatoes. No, I'm not complaining.

Thought for Food

What is cooking? And what makes a person a "good" cook (in the sense of a home cook, not a professionally trained career chef)?

To expand on my first question, what is the difference between a factory machine assembling pieces of metal to produce a television set and a person putting food into a pot to make a stew? Is cooking the application of heat to raw food products to enable nutrient absorption by human digestives systems? Because that's how the dictionary defines it. If so, what about salads, sandwiches and sushi? Is someone who is making a salad not "cooking"? And if cooking is just the application of heat to raw food, is a person who boils a piece of beef chuck considered a "cook"? It seems like you could define cooking as a mechanical system of applying component parts and heat, but cooking is clearly more than that.


I was thinking about the second question "what makes a person a good cook?" and arrived at the conclusion that there are three main dimensions that define a good cook.

1. First of all is the Mechanics. One must properly understand the physical mechanics of food and apply consistent technique to cooking. This includes the basic fundamentals of heat and time, prioritizing processes for maximum efficiency, speed, time management, prep skills, knife skills, understanding the physical properties of protein, starches, lipids, etc... The best evidence of mastery of Mechanics, in my opinion, is the ability to assemble the final product while all the component ingredients are still hot from it's initial cooking process.

2. Then there is Synthesis. Like any other skill in the world, practice and experience is required to be good at it. With that experience comes the inherent ability to synthesize. Synthesis is the ability to take what were once mere mechanical obedience to canon (i.e. following recipes) and proceeding to create something different. Since it is impossible to have experienced every recipe in the world, the ability to amalgamate your limited personal knowledge of food and recipes to create new taste combinations is critical. Everyone has to work within limitations, and it is the ability to Synthesize and Create within and around those restrictions that makes a good cook.

3. Creativity. Cooking is still an Art. It is the ability to break free of convention and restrictions. Whether it is the restriction of time, money, a bulky recipe book, ingredients, space or energy, a good home cook must be creative. Of course, creativity doesn't only mean the artistic side of cooking, equally important is the creative use of intelligence, especially in the area of logistics. This means planning meals with leftover ingredients, shopping for ingredients that maximizes efficiency and minimizes waste and seeing the infinite varieties of meals possible within the resources at hand. Like a painter with a blank canvas, or a writer with a white page, a good cook will utilize every tool in his kitchen to create an experience of food. Like a chess-master, a good cook will see not just where each ingredient needs to go for this meal, but he or she will look days into the future and see where each piece of the food puzzle will fit.

Notice that taste and making a delicious meal is not a requirement to being a good cook. In my paradigm, it is possible to be a good cook who produces dishes with sub-par flavor. I admire the feat of mastery inherent in being a good cook. Delicious food is a desirable and often automatic outcome of that mastery, but the appreciation of tasty food is a superficial titillation of the taste buds, while the appreciation of a mastered skill satisfies something in me much deeper and profound.

huzzah.

Liquor Commission: 0
Me: 1

Pork Loin Roast with delicious broccoli thing and brown rice and onion gravy.

Sauteed chicken with mushroom sauce

I know this looks really good. But the question is, does it tastes as good as it looks? The answer is no. No, it doesn't taste as good as it looks...it tastes way better.

Home Improvement!

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Parsleyed potatoes with pan fried herbed chicken breast.

Did you know smashing chicken breast flat makes it cook evenly and quicker? I knew about this trick but never applied it until today. So, I learned something useful and practical today.

I noticed that whenever I learn or do something new, it comes with an odd little sense of regret. It's the thought, "Damn it. Where has this knowledge been all my life? Why didn't I do this earlier in my life? Or, I wish I had known this when...".

So now, I want to learn everything I can possibly learn and do everything I possibly can do, right now, so I will have the optimal ratio of useful-knowledge-and-experience-acquired to time-spent-alive.

It's a strange feeling. This drive to learn and experience life. I hope it goes away soon because it is a lot of work.

PUNK ROCK SHOW

Note to self: THE BOUNCING SOULS! november 18th at Hawaiian Brians. PLUS, youth brigade!

Heartbreak!

I've forgotten how much it sucks and hurts when your team loses. Feels bad, man.

steak, pepper, basil, oregano, garlic, carrots, bell peppers, onion, beef stock, corn starch, pasta, green onions.

It tastes ok. A little bland. I was hesitant to add any more salt because that one can of beef broth contained a day's worth of sodium.

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Both pictures look exactly the same you say? That's because instead of changing out the refrigerator handle with the new assembly I bought, I ended up just adjusting the old one. It works kind of ok. It works better than before, but could probably work even better. But like I always say: good enough, by definition, is good enough.

Yesterday was a good day.

Spent all day yesterday wrenching on pipes while listening to The Smiths and Tegan & Sara.

Fixed: four water shut off valves, terminal block for GE stove and a kitchen light switch. All this in addition to last week's kitchen faucet, solar water heater panel and main water shut off valve. All this other stuff has been preparation for Next Week, when I'm gonna change the toilets.


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Elizabeth Warren

I am not joking when I say I find this woman incredibly sexy.


I would totally tap that, tap it like a frat boy with a keg.

"You cannot get up every day and approach the day, the week, the year based on how you feel. Because your feelings change every second and if you use your emotions as a guide to how to deal with your life, you are going to be all over the place in life." -internet

Truth.

The urge to indulge in my parent's 108" screen, home theater system and 500 channels of daydream stimulation is powerful. Must resist.

It's easy to say "no" to a desire when the object of temptation is not constantly in your awareness, when it is not easily acquired or when it is not in your presence. But when that temptation, TV in this example, is sitting just a few feet away from you, offering itself to you every second of every minute it becomes harder and harder to say no. It is difficult to maintain composure and focus under that constant pressure. All it takes is one moment of weakness in a moment of boredom and a lifetime's effort of self-control is lost.

Therefore, it is best to avoid being in the presence of temptation. If you are self aware enough to know what is good for you, then you will either remove the object of desire or remove yourself from the awkward situation of temptation. Do not make the mistake of believing you can live next to temptation yet be untouched by it; that requires powerful wisdom.

But the ability to lead a chaste life depends a lot on the circumstance of freedoms and choice. Sometimes you can, sometimes you can't, get away from temptation. Sometimes you want to, sometimes you don't.

In addition to wanting to get lost in mindless television, these thoughts also apply to my ongoing five dollar no-fap bet.

note: Patriots games don't count as "succumbing to temptation", patriots games are sustenance.

Home Improvement

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to the tune of "Damn it Feels Good to be a Gangsta":

damn it feels good to be productive
fixing up shit in your home
replace old plumbing in the place that you live
cuz the price of a pro is too restrictive

pipe is dripping, mold is now a serious issue
momma's stubbing her toe on broken tile
go to city mill and get what you gotta do
sweat till see you see her thank you with a smile
damn it feels good to be productive

a real productive ass gangsta does it DIY
Do It Myself or I'd rather die
wrenching shirtless in the hot humidity
take pictures and brag on my blog with no humility
cuz damn it feels good to be productive.

And all I got to say to you wannabe, gonna be,
cock sucking urban professionals
when the faucet line snaps where you gonna find the mainline shutoff?
damn it feels good to be productive.

Homecoming

Well. Here I am. I feel like I've been treading water for the past two years. Because here I am again, back at home with my parents and still waiting tables.

The Old Man next door isn't doing too well, he walks with a cane now. And while I was moving my stuff in the late afternoon, I saw him check his mailbox about half a dozen times. Sad.

The Korean wife next door is still pushing her little fluffy white dog around in a baby stroller.

It's the little things about a new place that are frustrating. The kitchen cabinets here are so small I can't even fit a bottle of Olive oil in it. The refrigerator is surprisingly smaller than I remembered . The kitchen and bathroom is so far away from my bedroom! and the shower and toilets don't work as well as they used to.

Although I understand that change is an inherent part of life, it is still a great big pain in the ass when it is not desired. I'm in a strange mood right now. Don't know where this life is taking me, hopefully somewhere good, somewhere with poetry painted on the walls. Insha Allah.

I love weddings. They are fun. Interesting feelings, thoughts, insights and emotions bubble up whenever I go to a wedding. It's like a roller coaster of deep thoughts. My wandering mind will run the gamut from taking bets as to how long the marriage will last before divorce to being really sincerely happy that a friend has found true love & commitment in this sick, sad, fucked up world; from wondering if I should make another run at the buffet to wishing the people sitting next to me at the dinner table would at least try to make conversation.



Some thoughts and insights about love and marriage:
- It's hard to be cynical at a wedding.
- a marriage ceremony is about the ritual of commitment and the swearing of vows before witnesses, although it is done in a lighthearted and romantic tone, it is fundamentally serious stuff. It's peer pressure and social ritual.
- weddings are more about the friends and family than the bride and groom.
- I used to mock the institution of marriage, like I used to mock religion. But they both serve a good purpose, if used correctly.
- 49% divorce rate in US in 2008 (source: US census). Just saying.
- A guy asking a friend to help move is a pretty heavy debt load. Imagine how much debt and obligation the man takes on when he goes on one knee and asks a woman to be his life partner for the rest of their lives. It's like the woman is doing the man a favor, a huge lifelong favor. The person who pops the question is basically surrendering the high ground, the person popping the question takes on the culpability of having dragged both parties into a not-easy-to-manage lifelong partnership. so it seems to me. The MC's "jokes" about the woman having the upper hand in the marriage relationship reinforces the dynamic.
- who the hell has 600 friends? I couldn't make a short list of 60 people to invite to my wedding if my life depended on it. And most of that 60 would probably decline anyway.
- Life can seem fine and good and easy, or life can seem impossible. It all depends on the support infrastructure you possess: extended family, lover, friend(s), aging parents, siblings, or no one.
- Real life weddings are not like Owen Wilson and Vince Vaughn movies.
- and some other deeply personal and revealing thoughts about love and marriage I will not share.

Thoughts

I tried to make a home for myself here. How silly I was. To think I could make a home, a life, by filling shelves with dinner plates, books, tupperware, canned food and photographs.

She was prettier, taller, funnier, and nicer than all of them. Yet she was the fifth wheel................No, of course she wasn't the fifth wheel, what do you think this is?

Note to Self:

Go to the Avett Brothers concert in 2012.

Wanted:

Wanted: roommate, housemate, lover, life-partner, friend, half-the-rent, or person to help move the couch.

I realized after searching for shelter on Craigslist that human society is not designed to make life easy for poor single people. one bedroom apartments are out of the price range of most poor singles, while one bedrooms are not a problem for couples who can share the bed and rent.

Studio apartments, while reasonably priced, don't provide humane living conditions.

I'm looking for shelter other than my parent's basement and when factoring in Parking, Privacy, Washer/Dryers, Kitchens, Baths, Location, Rent, etc... my options are not really options.

Oh, what our lives are worth.

I just lost 5 bucks at Safeway. At first, I thought I might have thrown it away with the receipt by accident. but I went back and rummaged through the garbage can (nothing I haven’t done before) and didn’t find anything. I believe the cashier didn’t even give me the five bucks change.

All this was brought about by the fact that I didn’t like the way the people were lining up crookedly and ambiguously for the self-checkout stands, so I went to a cashier checkout (which I never use anymore). It ended up taking way longer to buy my loaf of bread AND caused me to lose 5 bucks, PLUS the dollar I decided to donate to muscular dystrophy.

I usually never donate to that kind of thing, but this time I did donate a dollar because I was amused by the interaction between the cashier and the customers in front of me. she kept asking them the same question over and over. Since everyone said “no” to donating to muscular dystrophy, well, I just I had to say "yes".

The second customer mentioned that she asked a lot of questions, but that she did it with a happy voice. Then the cashier informed everyone in line that she has to sign a piece of paper every night before work saying she would ask those questions. “How are you this evening? Did you find everything okay?” Do you have a safeway card? Would you like to donate to Muscular Dystrophy charity? Do you need help to the car?”

So, moral of the story?  never use the cashier checkout lanes, just self-checkout.