Food and money

I'm not complaining, just noting, that our tour guide has been on the bus microphone talking about our tour groups dinner options tonight for the past thirty minutes; once in mandarin, once again in Cantonese.  She has gone on in great length and detail about what is free and included in the tour and what dishes are optional and require extra payment.

Why don't they just print this out on a piece of paper and give us as copy.  There must be a reason...because she wants to earn her tips? Because she really loves the sound of her own voice?  She really needs to just print this logistical stuff on paper and spend more time talking about the history, fun facts and importance of the stuff we are looking at.

According to her, paying the extra $15 for the lobster dinner option tonight is a good idea...

Update: our tour guide lies. The lobster was not worth fifteen bucks.

11:12am

Chinese tourist hordes. I will fight my heritage and Destiny. I will not be one of them. I will not assimilate.

OMG. Kensington 11:09am

Please, somebody please help me! I am hurting This literally hurts my soul.

Guided bus tours....

this is the box of pain I'm stuck in. 

Wedding thoughts

What do you think about during a wedding?

Who do you think about?

7:22am

You can't escape your genes and Destiny and old agism. FOL.

6:00am

On the way to do the three day three city tour. Guided tours.. my favorite thing. 

Chinese tourists

Holy shit. The stereo types about my people on vacation is painfully true.  Understated if anything.  They are a good 75 meters away and I can hear everything they are saying as they take pictures of some stupid concrete thing.

 the dreaded chinese tourist horde

Wooot. Party bus!

10:44pm

huh. Now I want to get married.  The wedding summary video got to me.

8  hours of sleep in the past 72, drink seven...?  Good times.

9:53pm

You're not sosolita!

self-importnat photographers

Get out of the way,

the world does not revolve around your stupid pictures no one is going to look at except for the bride and groom for about 15 minutes when they receive their wedding album you charged them $4,000 for. 

Kissing game

Wow.

7:36

Yo soy love weddings. Yo soy love open bars.

6;18pm

At my wedding: no photographers.  They are the predecessor off today's disconnected smartphone mediated social media reality. They are such a bummer, such a distraction and literal obstruction to enjoying real life.

Update: but, the videographers do make a great wedding day summary video. Kudos to them.

fish was not too good.  very fishy taste in a bad way. 

11:53am

My belief that a wedding is more about the friends and family rather than the bride and groom is reaffirmed. I can see the exhaustion through the makeup. 

it was a fun wedding.  we basically had a twofer.  two weddings in one day.  a traditional chinese tea ceremony wedding and a western one at a beachfront restaurant.

5:44am

I haven't slept more than two contiguous hours in the past three nights.

Brother on brother incest.

the house we stayed in was a old catholic college property that rents out to large weddings and parties on weekends.  it was pretty cool.  squeaky wooden floors, old furniture and fixtures like old doorknobs and bath tubs and rooms. 

Thank good for smart phones and free WiFi.

Ogling cheap produce at the supermarket.

Getting to know stranger/relatives strangers.

That's $3.29 each.  EACH.  In Hawaii that would be $3.49 a pound if its on sale. And that's $3.29 each in Canadian dollars. 

Ord

Coffee, sleep deprivation, cooking pretzels, morning airport rush,

Best flight ever

This flight is about one fifth full! This is better than sex, Saturday mornings, 24 year scotch, three day long weekends, Christmas time, finding twenty bucks in your jeans pocket, eating tacos, talking to a pretty girl, voting for obama in 2008, watching Tom Brady and the patriots win their fourth super bowl.... no wait, not that last one. Nothing will ever be better than that.

Whoops. Never mind. Forgot this was United. Here comes the group of ninety six United is blaming TSA for being late.  God I hate United. I wish it would just die. 

Happy Canada Day

Off to Toronto to celebrate Canada Day!

List of things to do while in Canada:

1. Niagra falls, not because I want to, but because i have to, not because i have to, but because my family signed up for a guided tour of the greater Toronto region.

2. Foo Fighters show on July 10?

3. pancakes, maple syrup.  maybe buy some maple syrup...the real stuff... not the aunt gemini high fructose corn syrup.

4. hockey game?  No. that is lame.

5. Tim Hortons coffee and donuts.

6. eat canadian bacon.

7. see a moose.

8.  

pineapple season

it's wedding season.  I love weddings because they always makes me feel idealistic and romantic about love, life, marriage, etc...  it's hard to be cynical at a wedding.

But I found a new cure for any post-wedding optimism. I learned in the two days since the wedding that the best cure for hope is to read "Gone Girl".  That book will very quickly quash any good will one may have for marriage and love relationships.

they used pineapples for centerpieces

Is this a big meal for one person? 

i don't know anymore. 

Even if I'm enlightened to the point where I no longer watch tv now, I would have stopped watching when all the TVs these days have that super weird hyper real soap opera look.  It is impossible to ignore. The image quality throws me off more than poor acting, worse writing or unbelievable plot. It looks so wrong!

update: did tv always have so many commercials? were the crawlers always so big and constant and distracting? Why does anyone suffer through this when they can get it for free or cheap streaming online with no commercials.

update 2: hash tags on the upper right corner of the screen is a thing now... is nothing sacred?!

every back ground  in every scene looks like a high school you tuber green screen made with windows movie maker.

And the product placements...god is dead...nothing is sacred.  

A dwarf at the gym talked to me while I was doing bicep curls. He encouraged me to continue lifting. Said he "used to be as skinny" as me. He actually weighed more than me according to his self-reported weight  (I kind of don't believe his reported weight). 

Anyway, long story short:  Tyrion called me skinny. Wtf.