Why this ad?

There was an ad in my gmail acccount:

"U by Kotex® at Sam's Club - www5.samsclub.com - Bigger Pack, Better Value. Get A Free U by Kotex® Sample Online Now!"

I have never been as disturbed by a targeted online ad as I have been by this one, so I clicked on the google link "Why this ad?" for an explanation. Google says "This ad is based on emails from your mailbox. Visit Google’s Ads Preferences Manager to learn more, block specific advertisers, or opt out of personalized ads."

I've been analyzing my emails to figure out what keyword or combination of words could have possibly triggered this ad placement. I can't figure it out and I am very perplexed.

I thought this was all a dumb mistake and bad algorithm writing, but then I realized (too late) that those clever bastards at Kotex actually got me to Google their product and visit their website. If page hits and click-throughs are how they measure success then they definitely succeeded with me. But if actual sales and revenue is what they want, well...better luck next time Kotex. (I admit that I was a little impressed by the fancy site and the sharp new packaging).


Update: I don't take this kind of thing lightly. Targeted media advertising is a sin in my eyes. The invasion of privacy and the collection of personal data on individuals is a very slippery slope into a surveillance authoritarian society. It's the salami effect, they take little slices until the whole thing is gone. They take a little bit of your rights away at a time or they get you to surrender to little invasions of privacy. The cumulative effect of this won't be noticed until it's too late. It's already happening; look at SOPA, CISPA, the UK's unbelievably Orwellian surveillance society, Carnivore, etc...

I made this addendum because I just got a gmail ad for Coconut Oil. This terrifies me because my mother has been talking about the health benefits of coconut oil recently (is this a new trend?). However, I am positive there are no clues to her discussion about it in any of my online information. HOW DID THEY KNOW?!

Shredded roast chicken with gremolata, salad, brown rice and mashed cauliflower.

It was a long strange trip.

Imagine, if you can, a topless vietnamese sailor singing the Beatle's Yellow Submarine while his mates accompany him with out of tune drums and a scratchy guitar on a boat full of tourists taking part in a scuba diving tour in the middle of hong an bay in Vietnam.




now stop imagining it and actually live it:

Sleep? No, thank you, I'm allergic.

I just had to tuck my mom in to bed cuz she was high on ambien and stumbling around the house. LOL. I don't blame her, I know exactly where those little pink pills will take you.

I've been home for a few weeks now but I think I'm still jetlagged. Some nights I'll sleep 3 or 4 hours, other nights I'll pass out for 13 hours. I tried using various combinations of sleep deprivation, coffee and sleeping pills to crowbar my melatonin secretions into a semblance of regularity, but all those tactics probably did more harm than good.

I don't know what it is about me and sleep. I've always had a one way relationship with sleep, i.e. I wanted it, it didn't want me.

Unhealthy patterns are the problem. My life has no rhythm. Working nights at the restaurants means I come home late and therefore go to bed late. And not having any obligations most mornings means I have no reason to sleep early or rise early, or even at a regular time. Add up the random late weekend nights, an on-off caffeine addiction, an occasional alcohol habit, a 7-month stint as a hotel night auditor, a couple of round the world time zone trips and I suddenly realize I haven't slept well for the past 28 years.

I sometimes wonder if all the problems in my life stem from this lack of sleep. Isn't it fair to assume that if one slept better, one would feel better? More energetic and optimistic about life? There aren't many things in life where I say to myself (and actually believe) "if only I had _______, I would be happy", but I suspect sleep is one of the necessary's for a fulfilled life.

"Would you like some sleep, sir?" the college student in the tuxedo politely asked.
"No thank you, I'm allergic." I replied. He looked at me blankly before giving me a polite smile and quietly moving onto the next guest.
My dinner companion sitting to my left turned to me and exclaimed, "you're allergic to sleep? how can anyone be allergic to sleep?"
"It's true. I can't have sleep."
"what happens if you sleep?" he asked.
"I get constipated."
"have you tried chewing Valerian root?" he offered. I had to give this gentleman credit, he stuck with me despite my off-putting, but sincere, answers to his questions.
"I've tried it, only to find out I'm also allergic to Valerian root".
I watched my dinner companion sip his champagne as he weighed his options. Then, with a heavy sigh, he managed a "and what happens when you chew Valerian root?"
"I fall asleep".

oh, and the internet. Can't forget to mention that. why would I want to sleep when I can internet?