I am unknowable. indestructible mystery. at my feet, worlds spawn, rot, collapse,  and born again, through ceaseless aeons. i remain. inscrutable. endless, boundless, with no beginning or end. time itself cannot shake me from my perch. death is no challenge to my station. my truth exists in a realm devoid of light yet absent dark. I am answered question. my faithful disciples will never know disappointment, nor peace. what I have to offer this world, shall never be. 

poor man's backpacking

if you want to experience the wonder and joy and fear of traveling in strange new worlds, go to the regional Costco you never go to.  where everything is familiar yet slightly out of place and frustrating 

, but the same. 

4 day weekend

i expected a four day weekend of surf and relaxation. instead I got emotional trauma and a $2,000 bill for a spiritual epiphany. 

spam poetry

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bean soup

why am I such a good cook?

no one knows. 

its a mystery. 

fab mart

this is where I get my fab

face mask and Chinese dinners

unexpected face mask benefit, a device to signal the end of an already prolonged  Chinese dinner. 

pet peeve #836

that cold spot of freezing freezer air in the middle back part of you refrigerator. 

poor bastards

it's high school graduation season, and outside my window i hear party buses driving by  with high school graduates screaming and cheering their excitement to enter the real adult world.

those poor, stupid, little, young, naive bastards. 

they have no idea. 

I didn't have the heart to yell at them "this is probably as good as it gets!" (for most of them).  let them enjoy this night.

Between the post covid, post 2008 economy plus the impending global warming apocalypse, plus modern housing prices and 40 years of stagnant wages...  smh... those poor kids... 

y'all 18 now, so spread those ass cheeks wide, kiddos. the world about to give you a teaching you won't soon forget. 

reminds me very much of election night 2016.  The high school kids who were part of our election canvassing campaign were at our election night watch party.   all of us expected victory.  the kiddos were outside, partying the way chaperoned high school kids do, while the adults were inside watching the results coming in on the TV... 

kalsarikannit

oh good!  the fact a word for it exists helps validate the normalcy of my degeneracy.

lmao, was i just sexually harassed?

im using dirty beach bathroom urinal, guy comes next to me. whips out his sizeable chubby and starts aggressively swinging it around over his urinal, can't help but notice from corner of my eye, notice he's not peeing, he's too young to have prostate problems I thought, the hell he be doing?, don't think much of it, I finish up, as I turn to leave he mumbles something unintelligible to me I give him head nod and walk out, that was weird i thought.  

10 minutes later in car, mfw when I realized I was probably sexually harassed and/or propositioned. 

what the fuck is wrong with guys? who does that?  

does that actually work? what's the success rate to fist in face ratio? 

the sixth love language

the old mistaken belief is that there are 5 Love Languages™️.  

there are actually six. 

physical touch, quality time, gift giving, words of affirmation, acts of service... and texting funny memes. 

250 calories

this is 55 grams of 250 calories (before milk!) 

thats literally four, maybe five, mouthfuls of cereal. 

pulitzer

this one is winning a pulitzer, I'm certain. 

and then I knew...I was an artist

12:12am

"so we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past." 

I forgot how good this book is. 

Saturday night

in retrospect this past Saturday night was a lot wilder than i realized. huh. 

biscuits 1:15am

could a depressed person do this,  he whispered to himself, as he pulled fresh baked buttermilk biscuit from the oven at 1:15 in the morning on a Friday night.  

Leaving Las Vegas (1995)

why did I watch this movie? 

why did someone make such a movie?  

its like the darkest timeline version of lost in translation. 

now I feel awful. 

good morning. April 5th, 6:13am

rom com movie tropes

me, stretching before my dramatic entrance just as the priest says the "speak now or forever hold your peace" part. 

bedding

stimmy check in my pocket. holes in my blanket. 

buying expensive bedding is the most stressful thing anyone can poasibly experience. 

I do not need this unnecessary burden in my life right now. 

nature finds a way

David attenboro:  the red jeeps and mustang convertibles are slowly returning to their Honolulu habitat.  the resurgent population of the rental cars on the city streets, beach parking lots, and along the shoulders of busy scenic highway roads is a sign of capitalism's relentless resilience.

red wet and bitter

this grapefruit is wet, red and so bitter.

just like my heart. 

this is fine

this is fine. really. actually, this is my happy place.