530am

I keep waking up at 530am for an unknown reason. is God trying to tell me something?

whatever it is, I dont want to hear it. just let me get some goddamn sleep. 

"Tolerhate"

definition: a thing you generally dislike but appreciate or tolerate or suffer through because you recognize its positive attributes or benefits. 

subtle art... p. 38

A philosophical subtlety that became obvious only when framed this way in black and white:

"everything comes with an inherent sacrifice - whatever makes us feel good will also make us inevitably feel us bad.  What we gain is also what we lose.  What creates our positive experiences will define our negative experiences".

Examples provided: buying that house that you have to pour money to repair and maintain, marrying that person you love and struggling to continue that love for 20 years.

miyazaki

hobbies: reading, pottery, surfing... art collecting.

the magician king

the hero doesn't get the reward, "the hero pays the price."
      - The Magician King, p. 396

this is the life I choose

12:02am

its 12:02am and sleep is not even a near possibility at this point. what is wrong? why? how? when? 

its 12:37am

why?! why is it 12:37am?!

colds

after laying in my bed and staring at this ceiling for hours, I grudgingly came to the conclusion that im actually quite sick.  

this is the life i chose for myself

 

tonights dinner

1.22.19

Mediterranean pasta, old customers, dead breaklights, dead batteries, shirtless free labor guy, stolen glass of wine.

23% less

23% less but not 23% less

patriots 37 - chiefs 31

oh cool, another superbowl appearance.

yaaaaaaaawn.

n shore 1.19.19

bigger than I expected waves, tendency of pitching into shallow water in close outs. didn't die so it was a good session.

Clemson's football championship celebration dinner at white house

Black butler serving McDonalds french fries to some victorious white guys at a "formal dinner" at the Donald Trump White House during a government shutdown with Abraham Lincoln looking on. 

yep yep yep. 

=

Nice to meet y'all

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B9FzVhw8_bY

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c931dQ2UnNA

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eUkSTnUK_T0

apparently southern gothic is the thing i was missing in my life.

my face when....

I get a text and it's not from who I want the text to be from. 

Mongolia pre-funk

shit just got real real, real quick

7 till 5am

went to bed exhausted at 10pm expecting a nice 9 hours of sleep until the 7am alarm clock. 

nope.

body decides it wants to wake up at 5am after its normal insufficient 7 hours of sleep. apparently i've trained my body to think that 7 hours of sleep or less and feeling tired everyday is normal.

I'm not asking for nice things. just some sleep is all.

it's difficult for me, Maggie. very difficult for me to imagine that.

Am I An Adult Now?

my face when i saw it

 

My newly acquired Lost in Translation screen print from an art gallery. I love it.

eulogy

who will take the time
to stop and say goodbye?
who the eulogy will make cry?
or will everyone's eye stay dry?

wistful laughter at old favorite stories retold,
or dreaded silence and pretend sadness unremarkable?

checking watches for time appropriate to leave,
leave properly but not a second more than necessary

i meant nothing to you, and you less to me
but come anyway to say nice things
 and bless me please before i sleep.

say anything. kate is great.

having a smoke and walking home after a few drinks while listening to the bouncing souls on a cold windy freeway overpass, havent been this a happy in a while. 

10.30.18

sixth circle of hell

is for people who get in their car in a busy parking lot and take forever before reversing out. 

probably vote Republican too.

aug 21 2018

cool.