filial fiduciary

I guess one good reason to have kids is that if they turn out to be decent adults, you can trust them and use them as agents to manage your assets when you get old and susceptible to scams. 

blood then bread

uh oh

its the rebound travel lust. the one that made me go to India for four months less than a year after six months in Central America. 

it hasn't even been six weeks...  iceland, mongolia, europe, middle east, south America, Japan again...  hmm...

will I ever feel normal? again?

who will save me from myself?

where does the good go?

its startling how quickly one can fall back into the rhythm and rut of the old pre-africa life.

BeTheLi

Betheli:  (beh-teh-lee), noun. 

definition: an oral language characterized by participants communicating by reading "between the lines".  intended meaning is communicated through inference and subtext, rather than the ostensible, surface-level verbal communication.

a language spoken most often by politicians, corporate executives, amd couples with poor communication skills.

night terrors, every night, 5am, cold sweat, waking up

dear reader, 

since returning home I find myself waking up in the middle of every night. while in itself this phenomenon is not unusual and in fact is my normal sleep quality, what is different is that I wake up in quasi panic and confusion.   

I look around my unrecognizable dark room, lit only by the green light of the power button on my oscillating fan, and wonder where I am.

 I often think I'm still in japan. but then I remember I'm not, I'm not there or indonesia or Africa, i remember that im finally back home.   then I go back to sleep. 

it's been mere weeks but those countries and lives seem so so far away already 

update:  recently I wake up for other reasons.  I must still think I'm in the jungles of indo or the dusty zimbabwe village when go to bed thinking its not that hot here in hawaii. but wake up covered in sweat. 

SelfIdentity v3.0

after an-around-the-world-backpacking-trip, everything else in life got the volume turned down.

it's been 11 days and I'm holding on.