tomorrow is 39 years on this earth

deep thoughts? none. I'm very tired right now, hopefully its just jet lag and not a deeper tiredness. 

I turn 39 tomorrow amd I don't like it. 

randim thoughts March 24 2023

I am sooo rusty with the backpacking rhythm. can't find shit in my bag and can't pack for shit either. 

6:37am day zero

sitting hear quietly at home with my tinnitus.  flight leaves in about two hours. 

midlife crisis is appropriate cuz now everyone's concern for me has got me worried for my life now.  am I going to die I'm Africa? a lot could go wrong I realize, so  definitely feeling that tingle in my stomach now.

 

but at the same time i feel oddly subdued. maybe its the lack of sleep the past two nights.  maybe its unenthusaism for the 37 hours of flight time ahead of me. 

midlife crisis thing....

I just retconned this whole Africa trip as a midlife crisis.... while I didn't pitch this to myself in my head as a midlife crisis cope... all signs indicate it is now canon.

past mid point in life, same hometown, single, ten years in same job, apparently autistic, global warming, neo fascism

inflation

median million dollar homes and 6 dollar Vietnamese ice coffee 😑

plans

 the original draft ideas was Namibia, botswana,  tanzania, kenya.

 Now its Namibia, botswana, zimbabwe, tanzania.    

I've ended up sort of chasing the end of rainy season through Africa, basically chasing the shoulder season.   it's a good tactic to enjoy that sweet spot for crowds, decent weather, good sites and prices.  

surpsingly, Botswana and Zimbabwe each only have less than 20M population. Namibia goes without saying as 2nd least densely populated country in world. 

 

March 16, 2023 T-Minus 4 days

Four days before Africa.

Nervousness, excitement, odd moments of apathy, relief, fear, happiness, calm.  Mini panic attacks. 

Starting to feel real real now. Logistical prep is getting real.  all those little things i'm gathering in the bag. little things like planning my meals to empty out my fridge of perishables and preparing for only takeout food the last two days.  

midlife crisis behind schedule

based on my year of birth, my life expectancy as a U.S. male is 75 years.  I always thought it was 76. so at 38 years old right now, and still being 38 when I depart for Africa, that means im already past the midpoint of my life 🥴🤮☹😬😭😖😠💀

I'm late to my own midlife crisis. how embarrassing. 

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=JwYX52BP2Sk