I can see that tonight is going to be one of those nights. I tried. I really did. I had a sensible glass of wine before bed, even tried my new Counting Meditation trick, but I still couldn't fall asleep. If you haven't fallen asleep by 3:30am after hours of laying in bed, you might as well just embrace it. That's what grandma always said.

So, here I am, 3:47am in the morning, sitting naked at my computer, with a beer, thinking about cooking ramen ... I've been up for almost 20 hours now. The more I think about it, the more I want the ramen. Okay, it's ramen time....

4:13am: The ramen thing was probably the best idea I've had since...ever. If I were the kind of guy to count calories, I would have counted 480 calories (210 of it from fat).

Not being able to sleep sucks. A lot. Perhaps a poem would best convey the madness of sleeplessness (written when I was in 10th grade, which begs the question: what kind of god would do this to an already developmentally stunted angsty teenager?):

3am in your kitchen
nothing worth eating
even though you’re starving

330am in your kitsch den
TV on with nothing worth watching
deranged insomniac laughing

345am in your garden
the grass is still growing
waiting for someone to do the mowing

400am in the garage
the car has not been stolen
return to what you were doing

4:37am lying in bed
the time of night you dread
when you’re probably better off dead.

Not being able to sleep sucks. But staying up super duper late is a pretty fun consolation prize.