recap 2025 japan and HK

Africa was introspective nightmare. I am who i am. I need to be much much better, but I am what I am. 

this 2025 trip? if Africa was a midlife crisis, this was a reckoning of understanding aging and what it means on a practical day to day basis. 

in japan watched my mom get old in front of my eyes. 

i watched myself become the weird, "getting a little too old guy"/"not the young guy you were" guy.

hostel  backpacking is for the young and loud and energetic people, not that 41 guy who went to Africa in 2023 when he was 39. 

its a young person world.  how am I going to get old who will be there to make sure I don't fall amd break a hip in the bathroom and my skin slowly sloughs off after 48 hours under a hot running shower?

pickles

yeah sex is great and all but have you eaten pickles straight out of the jar while sitting on your kitchen floor while 5 beers and 3 wines deep?

savant

at gym.

water fountain has out of service sign. 

so i don't drink. 

watch idiot go and push buttons, nothing works. 

is he dumb? can he read? read the sign. 

plugs plug back in. 

works.

water flows. 

commitments

do I really want to get married and have kids? 

only way to find out is to get married and have kids. 

so,

do I really want to X?

only way to know for sure is do X.

reality is a scam.

monster creature

with eyes open,

lies spoken.

the monster listened.

creature cried. 

it roared why?

reasons mumbled. 

monster reasoned,

humble is good. 

humble even if stumble,

humble is good.

monster said goodbye,

creature cried. 

a pretty girl is like

a pretty girl walking down the street is like a beautiful sunrise. -me, age 25

a pretty girl walking down the street is like a beautiful sunset.  -me, age 40

emotional date rape

getting an emotionally unavailable person drunk and then using the lowered inhibitions to get them to talk about themselves and emotions....  emotional date rape and violation or therapy methodology?