It's taken me 27 years to realize this...but I just realized/understand the thought process/laws of physiology that leads to me getting waaaay too drunk when i am sitting at home by myself getting my drink on.

1. tasty cocktails (like screwdrivers for example) are tasty.
2. tasty cocktails, on account of their tastiness, are drunk very quickly.
3. Hence, many cocktails are drunk in a short amount of time.
4. having drunken many cocktails in a short amount of time, the alcohol hasn't the time to be processed and assimilated.
5. with no visible result after numerous drinks in a short time, more drinks are spitefully had in order to achieve non-sobriety.
5. 75 minutes later: Wham Bam Thank You Ma'am.
6. pop in Lost in Translation DVD
8. ??????
9. profit!

You get such few chances in life. And when those chances do come, the window of opportunity is so short. A moment's hesitation, a flicker of doubt or a lapse in concentration and an entire universe of possibilities just disappears.

"be kind to everyone you meet, because everyone is fighting their own battle"