bob ross, that guy, tells me halfway through the 30 minute video i'm supposed to use a thick firm dry paint for this painting, after i had thinned it down already. I was kinda upset at him, but then... turns out he was right, we don't make mistakes, just happy little accidents, because I really like how the too-wet paint turned out in these mountains.
Drunk me is best me. I wake up and marvel at what blacked out drunk-me did the night before. Laundry is done and folded and put away. dishes are cleaned. garbage is taken out. Week's worth of food is cooked and waiting in the fridge. new oil painting is completed. Bills are paid and ready to be mailed out. car is washed and clean (that was a nice one).
i love waking up and seeing what drunk-me has done for me-me.
Its like having a slave. I provide food and shelter and alcohol and my drunk-slave just does things for me.
Saturday, February 8, 2020
ahhh, the sweet sound of girls screaming to sing me to sleep.
one squat rack, me, and ten new years resolutioners.... much like middle east geopolitics, going to the gym after new years has become a zero sum game.
The lives of the people around me, the ones that i love and care about, are in pain and chaos. Broken thirteen year long relationships, broken marriages, divorce, unwanted pregnancies, cancer....
and this is the worst thing in my life right now:
I'm such an asshole.
I feel guilty. and worried that my turn for tragedy is coming.
12.10.19 update:
annnnnd, the problem just went away. I'm the worst.
seriously, what evolutionary function does a snorer provide other than telegraphing "hey prehistoric predators of the night, I'm over here with my tribe and we're all deep asleep and helpless, come eat us!"
adding a little cream cuts down on the bitterness and acidity of coffee, and brings out the wonderful, aromatic, deep, flavors that were hidden behind the darkness.
what an apt metaphor for my life: acidity and darkness and bitterness.